June 2012
- tumblr: u have 15 new posts on your dash
- tumblr: i mean 3
I don’t lose followers, followers lose me
wow kids these days age 13 smoking weed and having sex? when I was that age i was popping pills, injecting heroin and planning my 10th murder
sometimes i dont know who is lazier me or the guy who made the libyan flag
On September 31st, 2013, Tumblr will start charging you for your account. To avoid this, you MUST get NAKED, stand on your dining room table, and do the macarena, all while singing, “I Will Survive”. After sending the video tape of the previous actions to me, then and only then will David Karp come down your chimney to tell you that your account will stay free. Pass it on, it must be true because someone on the internet I hardly know told me.
When you walk out to your car and realize you forgot your keys:
When the power is out and you go to turn on a light switch:
When you get to school and realize you forgot your homework:
When you walk into a room and forget why you’re there:
When you walk down the aisle and realize you forgot the wedding rings:
When you hit your head on a low beam:
When a mosquito bites your forehead:
When you get brain freeze:
When you’re Raven Simone and you get a vision:


